There are very few things in the world that are more painful than falling in love with someone who you know you just can’t be with. You are so in love with this person. You are so ready to give all of your heart to them. But you just know that there is no way that the two of you would ever have a shot at ending up together. The kind of pain and agony that that experience brings is unlike any other.
It’s a very traumatic experience that most of us are likely to have gone through already. You might have fallen in love with a close friend. Maybe you developed feelings for someone in the office. Perhaps a random person might have walked into your life and you found yourself just being completely smitten by them. The point is that you can’t help who you fall in love with. And sometimes, you’re just bound to fall in love with someone you can’t be with. And that sucks.
There is a popular quote by entrepreneur Paul Hudson about the matter. He says, “It’s the kind of love that doesn’t signal the beginning of something beautiful, but rather the end of something that might have been beautiful, but will never amount to anything more than what it is.”
And if you ever find yourself in that kind of position, it can hurt. It can feel like a thousand pins just stabbing at your heart. However, it’s not entirely impossible to get yourself out of that situation. It’s not impossible for you to detach yourself from someone you’ve fallen in love with. It’s just going to take a lot of hard work and dedication.
1. Enjoy the time you spend together.
Try to really enjoy the amount of time that you spend together. And be content with that. Don’t be hoping for anything more. Don’t be wishing for something that just isn’t there. Focus on what you have and just live with it.
2. Find a hobby to keep yourself busy.
A lot of people will often resort to immersing themselves in hobbies and other interests in an effort to get over their failed love affairs. This is effective because you would be able to focus all of your energy on one thing and you forget about your romantic woes for a while.
3. Set boundaries for yourself.
Sometimes, it’s just a matter of setting rules for yourself and making sure that you actually follow them. You want to make sure that you don’t break your own rules. Practice self-discipline. It’s only for your own good. Set boundaries for how you interact with this person.
4. Find a support system that works for you.
Having a strong support system can always come in handy whenever you are feeling emotionally weak and vulnerable. When you are able to rely on friends and family, then you will find it so much easier to detach yourself from someone.
5. Always keep it real.
Make sure that you don’t let your expectations run wild. Make sure that you don’t get your head up in the clouds. Be real about your situation. Don’t get your hopes up or else you will only be setting yourself up for disappointment.
6. Limit the contact that you have with one another.
You might want to make it a point to limit the contact that you have with one another. You know that the idea of not being able to have them is going to bring you a lot of pain. So, just try to focus on living a life without them for now.
7. Try dating other people instead.
One of the best ways to move on from a fish is to explore the other fish that are out there. You might just want to expose yourself to other people to help you forget about the one you can’t have.
8. Put your feelings down on paper.
Writing can be a very therapeutic exercise for a lot of people. And you shouldn’t be afraid of just confronting your feelings and actually putting them down on paper. It will allow you to structure your thoughts and move on from your feelings.
9. Allow yourself to feel the sadness.
Just allow yourself to feel all of that sadness that is in your heart. One of the most effective ways to get over a feeling is to first confront it. Don’t ignore it or just sweep it under a rug. Acknowledge that you feel bad about it and try to move on from it.
10. Let them know how you truly feel.
Give yourself some closure. Sometimes, the one thing that you really need to do is to just come clean to them about how you’re truly feeling on the inside and see how they react to it. Whether they respond positively or not is irrelevant. At least you know that you’ve put yourself out there.