But just because you and your boyfriend have taken the plunge and are living together doesn’t mean that the hard work ends here…
When you finally meet a guy that you like enough to date for a long period of time, let alone decide to move in with, life feels pretty much perfect. You’ve won the dating game and don’t have to sort through all those losers anymore in the hopes of finding some kind of gem. But just because you and your boyfriend have taken the plunge and are living together doesn’t mean that the hard work ends here… or that you can both act super lazy.
You might find that cohabitation brings a whole bunch of problems that you never even thought about before. Some of those problems take place right in the bedroom (and they actually have nothing to do with getting busy). Read on to find out 15 bedroom habits that will eventually ruin the relationship. If you want to save your love story, don’t do any of these things!
1 Texting In Bed
Of course sometimes, if your boyfriend is already asleep and you get an important text message, you are going to have to answer it. But you do not want to text in bed every single night. You just don’t. That basically means that you are totally ignoring your partner and not actually spending time with him. Don’t you want to cuddle in bed and chat about your days? Don’t you want to get even closer and talk about the future?
Building a relationship with someone definitely means making sure that there is some level of emotional intimacy going on, and when you live together, chances are that all happens when you are in bed with your boyfriend. So put down your iPhone and start focusing on your relationship… before your guy gets super fed up and soon you are fighting all the time. That is probably not what you want.
2 Being A Social Media Addict
This is similar to having the bad habit of texting in bed but it can be even worse since let’s face it, you’re probably a social media addict. You can’t help it, right? Everyone is a social media addict these days, for better or for worse (and often, for worse, at least when it comes to your relationship).
If you don’t want to ruin your relationship, then don’t check your social media accounts when you’re supposed to be cuddling up to your boyfriend on a cold winter’s night or when it’s a sunny Saturday morning and you should be sleeping in together.
How would you feel if he was always more interested in checking his Twitter feed or updating his Instagram account instead of hanging out with you in your very own bedroom? Yeah, exactly. Sometimes it helps to put yourself in your BF’s shoes when you’re not sure if you’ve got a bad habit (and in this case, this is a really bad habit).
3 Watching TV
Whether or not you should have a television in your bedroom is a pretty controversial subject… and it deserves to be because it’s not always the best idea. Okay, it’s never the best idea. You should honestly think about leaving your TV where it honestly belongs — in your living room or den or whatever your main living space is.
It’s tough to stop the temptation of watching TV in bed since let’s be real, at the end of a long day, you’re exhausted and all you want is some fun and somewhat mindless entertainment. But if you and your boyfriend have a TV in the bedroom, you’re going to drift apart because you’re going to spend more time watching TV and less time actually talking to each other.
You can absolutely still watch your favorite shows (it would be horrible if you stopped!) and of course, you can both watch shows together. But just keep it out of the bedroom. You seriously won’t be sorry.
4 Reading EVERY Night
OF COURSE, reading is a great idea. You should never stop reading. But one bad bedroom habit that can ruin your relationship is if you get into bed every single night and read. As in you don’t talk to your boyfriend. You don’t want to hang out with him. You don’t want to spend any time together before you go to sleep. Nope. You’re too into the story that you’re currently reading.
The best way to deal with this? Don’t go into your bedroom and read for HOURS every night of the week. You can still read before bed because that’s a great relaxing activity and an awesome way to wind down before heading off into dreamland. As long as you’re still giving your boyfriend the time of the day, then it won’t be a problem.
These things only become problems when they happen all the time. It would be like if he was always playing video games before bed and totally ignoring you. You wouldn’t like that, right?
If you usually work in bed late at night with your boyfriend right beside you, STOP RIGHT NOW. It doesn’t matter if he’s awake too and scrolling through his phone. It doesn’t matter if he’s fast asleep and swears that he can literally sleep through anything and it doesn’t bother him.
You don’t want to work in bed. You don’t even want to work in your bedroom if you have a desk or some kind of office set-up. Okay, yeah, if that’s the only place in your apartment that you can set up a workstation, then fine.
But if you don’t have to, then don’t. Because you want your bedroom to be for hanging out with your partner and, well, you can probably guess what else. If you bring your job into the bedroom, you’re just going to be stressed all the time and thinking about work. You won’t be able to stop.
6 Super Girly Decor
Yeah, this is your bedroom… but it belongs to your boyfriend, too! And chances are he doesn’t want a super girly bedroom. Yeah, he might lie through his teeth and swear that he enjoys the colors pink and purple. He might say that he has zero decorating ability and that you can feel free to go to town and do what you want.
He might really want to make you happy or he might be trying not to start a great big fight. It doesn’t matter why he’s telling you that he’s fine with the bedroom decor. The truth is that he’s not. If you want to ruin your relationship, then decorate your room to your heart’s content and make sure that your BF hates every square inch of it.
He deserves to enjoy his room too! Make sure that your decor reflects both of your styles and tastes. Yes, even if that means you decorate in a really minimalistic and simplistic way so it suits both of you.
7 Taking Up The Entire Closet
It’s become kind of a cliche at this point to say that you as the girl in the relationship would take up the entire closet once you shack up with your one true love… but sorry, it’s true! If you take up the entire closet, then you’re being a.) a jerk and b.) you’re going to ruin the relationship.
You’re not taking your boyfriend’s thoughts and feelings into consideration. You might think that it’s no big deal because girls historically have more clothes than guys and care more about things like outfits and closet space. But come on. You’re kind of proving to him that you don’t want to create space for him in the apartment and in the relationship too (both metaphorically and physically).
Who knew a closet could be so deep?! Jokes aside, you want to make sure that living together is the right decision for the two of you, and so if you really don’t want his stuff in your place, then you have to think about that.
8 Not Cleaning
Not cleaning your bedroom is not only kind of gross and ridiculous since you’re supposed to be an adult at this point. It’s also not fair to your partner. It doesn’t matter if he’s messy and so you figure that you can be messy, too.
It also doesn’t matter if he’s the neat freak in the relationship and you’re the total opposite. If you want to live together in total and complete harmony (which should probably be the goal!), then make sure that you’re taking care of the apartment. Yeah, that means cleaning. Yeah, that means you have to clean even if you hate it.
No, that doesn’t mean that you have to clean alone and that your BF never has to lift a finger! Of course he should totally share in the chores too. You both want to have a room that belongs to you as a couple and you can’t enjoy it if your floor is always covered in clothes!
9 Acting Platonically
If you act like you and your boyfriend are simply roomies or best friends, you’re going to ruin things between the two of you very fast. You want to make sure that the romance is still alive and well.
That doesn’t mean that you have to spend tons of cash and litter your bed and floor with rose petals (although of course you can do that if you want to be cheesy AF). It just means that you should have some fun together and make sure that you’re telling each other on a regular basis that you really care about each other and are so glad that you’re living your lives together.
If you act platonically, you won’t get what you want out of the relationship since the two of you will get into a groove or routine where you see each other in the morning, head to work, make dinner, watch TV, then go to sleep. Where’s the love?!
10 Bringing Up Your Deal Breakers
Everyone has deal breakers. Even if you don’t think that you do, you definitely do. It’s human nature to have a list of things that you want in a partner (and a list of things that you don’t find attractive at all). Just because you’re in a relationship and are living together doesn’t mean that you have found your ABSOLUTE perfect match.
Life and love are both about compromise and you can’t ever forget that. Another really bad bedroom habit is bringing up your deal breakers when you’re in bed aka talking about the things that you think are going wrong in the relationship… or the things that you think he should change about himself. You don’t want to do that.
You barely even want to bring those up in the bedroom at all, even if you’re only getting dressed in the morning or something. You’re going to set the bedroom up as a space where you talk about super difficult and tricky things, and soon the two of you are going to be fighting a lot. So talk about those things when you’re in other areas of the apartment. Your relationship will thank you.
11 Taking Up Too Much Space
If you take up too much space in your bedroom and act like it’s only YOUR room, that’s not going to be a good thing for your relationship. If your boyfriend has moved into your place, it can be tough to think of it as “OUR” place instead of only yours, but that’s something that you absolutely have to do if you’re going to happily live together.
If you’re having trouble letting go, you might be spreading all your stuff out in the bedroom. That could mean that you use half the room to put your makeup on and do your hair and get ready in the morning or before you go out with your girlfriends.
Or you always leave your stuff all over the place. Or you have your books and stuff on the bookshelves but don’t want your BF’s things anywhere. He’s going to feel really bad and left out and eventually, he’s going to think that you don’t even want him there, so this is more important than you might originally think.
12 Stealing The Covers (Or Sleeping In The ENTIRE Bed)
Are you a cover hog? Do you love to sleep in your ENTIRE bed as if you’re still sleeping alone and your boyfriend isn’t even there? Raise your hand if you’re guilty! The problem with this, of course, is that you’re going to seriously annoy your boyfriend.
If he was doing these things, you would be frustrated AF too. You don’t want to make sleeping in the same bed so totally and completely impossible that you start arguing, you don’t get enough sleep, and you wonder if you should even live together at all.
Thinking about your sleeping habits is a simple way to make sure that you get through this cohabitation in one piece and can happily live in the same place. After all, if you’re super in love, you don’t want the fact that you’re a totally annoying sleeper ruin your relationship! You just might save things if you can figure this out.
13 Fighting Before Going To Sleep
Yup, you knew this one would be on this list, right? Fighting with your significant other before you guys go to sleep is probably the WORST thing you could do… and it is definitely the most horrible bedroom habit out there. People say that you should never go to bed angry at your partner and that couldn’t be more true.
There’s also the fact that you probably won’t even be able to get your beauty sleep (or any sleep at all) since you’ll be so pissed off and upset! And then in the morning, you won’t feel better — you’ll feel even worse since you’ll be pretty sleep-deprived.
So never fight before going to bed… and definitely, don’t fight when you’re both IN bed. As long as you make this your golden rule, you will be doing a great thing for your relationship. And you won’t ruin anything at all!
by Aya Tsintziras Via