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Be Alone until You Find Someone Who Actually Gives a Shit about You

It can be more than a little scary to envision yourself being single for an extended period of time, but in reality, there is no reason you need to feel alone just because you aren’t involved in a romantic relationship. What’s more, there’s definitely no reason you should feel the need to fill periods of times like these with flings, either in order to feel normal or to live up to some silly stereotypical societal expectation. Instead, simply enjoy the time you have to yourself—if you let yourself, it’s almost impossible not to be both successful and happy.

It’s worth staying single until you’ve found someone who always does and says what they say they will, or what they promise to. Stay single until you find a partner who doesn’t just call, text, or spend time with you because it’s their duty or because they think you want them to do those things—find someone who genuinely wants to do those things for little to nothing in return. Moreover, wait for someone who not only enjoys and looks forward to spending time with you and your friends, family members, or other loved ones, but wait for someone who also looks forward to spending time with their own friends, family members, and other loves ones—with you by their side, and within their conversations.

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You’re better off remaining single until you meet someone who isn’t pushy or obsessive but who still openly and honestly shows how much they desire to spend time with you and learn more and more about you. And, of course, try to find someone who you feel as though you should act in this way toward as well. A prospective partner shouldn’t have to try to convince you to give them “a chance,” and you definitely shouldn’t ever have to go out of your way to prove yourself worthy of intimate attention. If you both don’t miss each other when you’re separated for extended periods of time, and if you both don’t think about how the other person is feeling while you’re separated, then you’re probably better off remaining or becoming single to keep an option open for something more satisfying and long-term.

A worthy partner should be able to ease both your self-doubt and your pain—even at the expense of some of their own positive energy and emotion. And, again, there is no reason for you to remain with a partner who isn’t likely to make and keep you happy and successful in both the present and in the future. Whenever you’re alone, take some time to really think about yourself—who you are, and who you want to become. It won’t be hard to envision an extremely long list of things you need to start and keep working on in order to realize your aspirations, so there really is no need to add a romantic partner into the mix if they’ll be hindering your progress as opposed to advancing it.

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